Sad Girl:(

What is grief if not love persevering

I got my heart broken, so I decided to write about it 

I am a lover at heart, and when I do love, I love wholeheartedly, and I did love wholeheartedly, which is why I must now grieve wholeheartedly as well, because grief is the price we must pay for love. September for the past three years of my life has been a month filled with so much loss and grief and pain.

Grief is such an annoying little thing. You think you're fine, but you wake up the next day in so much pain, feeling so much loss and hurt and betrayal. Some days are good and some days are bad, but I know that healing isn't linear. I have felt so many emotions in the past two months, and I am so overwhelmed. Sometimes I even ask myself if love is really worth this much trouble. I know grief, and I have felt grief before, but every time it comes by me, I handle it no better than I did the last time. It kicks me down; it sends me reminders of what I have lost and the things I should have done differently. It tells me to stay in bed all day, and I do. Everyone talks about the five stages of grief and how eventually you reach a point of acceptance, but sometimes I feel like I am stuck someplace between bargaining and depression. I know I feel so much because I am a sensitive person, and all my emotions come in extremes, which is both a blessing and a curse, and sometimes I hate myself for it. Why can't I just move on like they did? Why am I still sitting in this restaurant? But what is grief if not love persevering? Grief is just the price we must pay for being lovers, and maybe it's weird, but I feel like there is a sort of beauty in that. And yes, writing this, I am so consumed by sadness, but I will not let it rule me because everything will be okay eventually.

P.S: Only posting when I feel better