Do you feel loved by you?

 Jesus called us to love everyone like He loved us but can you truly be a vessel of God's love if you don't love yourself?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately  at the beginning of the year l made it my goal to love people as Christ loves me, to be a vessel of God's love ,this meant to be patient ,kind ,forgiving ( 1st Corinthians 13:4-5). Honestly it was harder than expected in fact it is harder than l thought it would  be. Believe me when l tell you that love is hard. Loving everyone like the Bible requires us is a lot of work. So l've  been putting in the effort ,trying to be kinder trying to be "loving" but a few days ago l was scrolling on Instagram and l saw this guy talking about how as Christians we should  love ourselves, it was this whole thing about God taking 9 months to create  us and only 6 days to create the world. Honestly that touched something in me ,how can l talk about loving the people around me when l do not love myself . God said to love everyone and that includes me right. One of my main references on how to show love as a Christian is Matthew 5:46-47 ,Jesus is telling us to love our enemies and how we cannot say we love if we love those who love us as it has no reward  but a true test of love is when we love those people that really get on our nerves   and put us through the most  the ones that annoy and irritate us and l thought to myself is not a true test of love when l love my body despite the acne scars and the belly fat, despite the millions of insecurities. Is not a true test of love if l am kind to my heart and mind despite the millions of mistakes l have made and the decisions l wish l could undo. How can even think of loving God's people when l hate the girl l see in the mirror ,does she not deserve to feel this unconditional love as well. I realized that l want to love myself but can l?do l have the capacity??? So l opened my Bible. 

Psalms 139:14 - l praise the Lord for l am fearfully and wonderfully made

2 Timothy 1:7 -for the spirit of God does not make us timid but gives us power, love and self discipline 

Fearfully and wonderfully made, do you hear that l am fearfully and wonderfully made!!! This self loathing stems from a place of hate and rejection and that is not of the Spirit of God. He didn't take nine months delicately crafting me so l would  starve myself of affection, He has called me to love this means loving everyone, and loving each and every messed up imperfect part of me. How can l be a vessel of God's love carrying it , sharing it with everyone else but not feeling an ounce of it .Love your self as you would any other person on the planet because God commands it. You must feel loved by YOU.